"Raising a kid is part joy and part guerrilla warfare."
~Ed Asner

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

CASE STUDY

CASE STUDY 1: Daylight Savings Time causes strange occurrences and behavior in small children.

SUBJECT 1
NAME: IZZIE
AGE: 3

On March 16, 2010, subject woke up at 3:00 a.m., walked into her mother's room and declared that she wasn't tired.  Mother gave subject a drink and played with her.  Subject went back to sleep at 5:00 a.m.

After subject's afternoon nap, she announced to everyone that she changed her name to 'Darla'.  Subject became irritated when family would not comply with the name change and call her 'Darla'.

When called for dinner subject sat down at the table without complaining.  Subject was faced with something new.  Subject ate dinner and said, "I tried it, and I liked it."  Subject asked for more.

SUBJECT 2
NAME: NOAH
AGE: 19 MONTHS

On March 16, 2010, subject woke up at 1:30 a.m.  Subject was visibly upset and had to be removed from crib to calm down.  Subject went back to sleep at 2:20 a.m.

While grocery shopping with his mother, subject somehow managed to escape from the belt that was securely snapped around his waist.  (Subject did this without unsnapping belt)

Subject's appetite has increased at an unusual pace over the past couple of days.

Subject soaked the couch and nursery rocker with an unknown substance. Subject was not wet, did not have access to a drink or the bathroom.  The source of the substance is still unknown but it has since been thoroughly and completed removed from couch and rocker.

Results of this study reveal some alarming concerns.  As a result of D.S.T. Children may suffer from insomniac episodes, identity crisis, verocious appetites, and super human abilities...

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