"Raising a kid is part joy and part guerrilla warfare."
~Ed Asner

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Being A Parent At Meijer Means

1.  Taking twice as long to get to Meijer because the roads are bad and I have precious cargo on board.
2.  Spending 5 minutes disinfecting the shopping cart because Noah puts his mouth on everything.
3.  Reassuring people that the howling, wild beast strapped in the shopping cart is not a danger to the public.
4.  Singing the "I love (insert name or object) song" with Izzy, who is singing at the top of her lungs.
5.  Picking up the few dozen or so spices my son managed to knock off the shelf while he was strapped in. (Yet proof again that Noah may actually be Jack-Jack.)
6.  Explaining to Izzy that there are no sharks in the fish tanks trying to eat the fish and that they are all fish and they are all friends.
7.  Spending 10 minutes trying to get an invisible fuzzy out of my daughter's mouth, who is freaking out due to her horrible gag reflux.
8.  Reassuring the woman, who just got beamed in the face with an etch-a-sketch, that the wild beast still strapped in the cart, against his will, is not a danger to the public.
9.  Spending twice as long at Meijer than I needed to.
10.Trying to comfort Izzy, who doesn't like the dark, and telling her that we're almost home while comforting Noah, who is screaming because he dropped the rest of his cookie and can't find it.

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