"Raising a kid is part joy and part guerrilla warfare."
~Ed Asner

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Is my face red?

Sometimes my face freaks out on me. I don't know why. Maybe it's stress. Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's the gross amount of perspiration dripping down my forehead when I kill myself at the gym. For real, sometimes I die and then come back to life mid ab twist...I don't know why, but my face decided to freak out on me today. The same day Kris and I had a date. We haven't spent more than five minutes in the same room for I lost count how long. We didn't plan anything spectacular, just a late dinner. But there I sat across my him; looking like a geeky teen with my braces and bright red, splotchy cheeks. I was uncomfortable. My cheeks itched and burned. I could feel my face getting hotter and redder. I tried to mask myself with my mane of hair, but then I just got weird looks. Kris, of course, hardly noticed. In his usual fashion he had a hat on and his head down so his view of me was limited. He didn't care really. I could have worn my cotton candy jumper with my rainbow striped tights and put my hair in pigtails and he wouldn't have noticed. But he could tell I was hurting. He told me I looked hot. I told him I felt hot, literally. Is my face melting off? No? Well do you have any Vaseline on you? No? Okay, I'll just bury my face in this chocolate strawberry cake.

When we got home I quickly assessed my face in the mirror and discovered it was getting worse. I was turning into a tomato. I whipped out my jar of Vaseline and slathered it on my face. I love Vaseline. There are so many uses for it. My daughter loves it too. So much in fact that one time she decided to paint her room with a lovely coat of Vaseline. Well, we'll see if the coat of Vaseline on my face helps. I'm off to bed...


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